(I had to use the word was instead of is, because as I’m typing this, we’re a few days into what is considered to be a nasty selloff, by this decade’s standards.)
The Hunger Games was an entertaining movie, and Modern Family is an entertaining TV show. But that’s no reason for Elizabeth Banks to be the face of midcap stocks. Even more incredible, we see none of the snarky Occupy Wall Street style comments about this ridiculous advertisement, that used to makeup the landscape not that long ago.
(This would normally be the part where I’d say something like, “Don’t say you weren’t warned!” but I know that’s pointless.
I moved back to the east coast in September 2017. That was a very difficult month for me personally (for details, see http://www.tbi-online.com), but also the nicest month for weather that I can recall since moving here. This past week, though, was fantastic. However…
The fall of 2017 was the first and LAST “transitional” (spring or fall) season that I can recall since moving here. It’s gone from hot to cold to hot to cold and so on and so forth. As I’m typing this, on the first official day of fall, we’re entering record high territory AGAIN! But, that doesn’t take away from the first full week of consistently nice weather in nearly two years, so hopefully, we’ll get a few more before the inevitable cold returns.
A couple of years ago, an unhinged leftist shot up a baseball park, where Republicans politicians were practicing for a game. One congressman in particular, Steve Scalise, was critically wounded. I usually leave my political rants on Twitter, saving my Facebook page for typically lighter content, to not offend those that I know personally. But this story seemed so abhorrent, I figured I’d make an exception, as no one could POSSIBLY take issue with a call for unity.
I was wrong. One of my Facebook friends, an acquaintance in real life, took great exception to my exception, telling me that I had decided to focus on a story for a privileged white man, ignoring many other atrocities that occur in our country on a regular basis. That’s not how I meant it at all, but I did understand her point, however distant it would be from my own. That was the last time I posted any “soapbox” material on Facebook again, deciding to keep away from controversy. There are plenty of other places for me to discuss opinions that some might consider incendiary…such as this one, for example.
I bring this up now because on the day I’m typing this, July 19th, 2019, sportscaster Dan LeBatard decided to use his sports platform for something that had absolutely nothing to do with sports. Assuming that the issue he was addressing was so abhorrent that it transcended any “cowardly” (as he saw it) boundaries that had been put upon him by his bosses at ESPN, LeBatard went on a screed about Donald Trump, his supporters, Colin Kaepernick being blackballed, the civil rights movement of the sixties- a movement that he claims hasn’t seen change (?!)- and “old rich white men” that falsely (again, as LeBatard sees it) believe they have grievances against anyone who isn’t like them. Most jarring of all, LeBatard gave this impassioned monologue under the premise that this was all rooted in fact, not his personal opinion, and that- quote- “this isn’t about politics”.
If there’s nothing else I say here that you agree with, dear reader, at least believe me on this- whenever someone feels the need to declare, “This isn’t about politics,” it is, in fact, about politics. In this case, BY DEFINITION, it’s about politics, because LeBatard was defending Ilhan Omar, a congresswoman from Minnesota, against President Donald Trump and his supporters. Both Trump and Omar, in the most literal sense of the word, are politicians.
By now, people all over the world have seen the, “Send her back!” chants at Trump’s rally, along with Trump’s indifference (if not tacit approval) as he allowed the chants to continue. For what it’s worth, I thought the chants were despicable, and I am not a fan of the President. I didn’t vote for him the first time, and won’t vote for him the next time. (I only bring this up because I have no doubt that many will read this, and picture me writing this with a MAGA hat on, and a Confederate flag draped from my wall. Not that this disclaimer will change that false image. But I digress.)
None of these facts are designed to change anyone’s mind about Omar- she is a very popular figure among some, and as troubling (if not more so) than Trump among others. They’re merely included to help demonstrate just how much more complex this debate is than LeBatard’s one-sided argument is, and how the roots of the division go beyond Donald Trump and his supporters. And yes- millions of people are applauding LeBatard’s words as I’m typing this, but I’m betting at least 99% of them already believed everything that he said, prior to him actually speaking.
Whatever its problems are, ESPN is there to provide sports entertainment– that’s what’s in the name itself! Dan LeBatard is not secretly broadcasting from some clandestine spot in a dictatorship- no matter how much Donald Trump may act like a dictator, this is still very much a free country, one which has more platforms than ever for discussing every issue under the sun. Sports fans tune in to ESPN, FS1, and the other sports networks, in part, because they want to escape the ultra-polarized environment we find ourselves in. Those who buy what LeBatard is selling already made the purchase. Those who don’t will just tune into something else. In fact, there’s probably a third category that isn’t being considered here- those that do agree with LeBatard, but are just looking for something else at the current time. (Sorry, but no matter how impassioned someone is about ANY issue, it’s unhealthy to be Lisa Simpson allthe time.)
So personally, I agree with some of LeBatard’s points. I disagree with some of his others, particularly that this “isn’t about politics”. But my personal opinion isn’t what matters to me here. There are plenty of other outlets for LeBatard to discuss his personal beliefs. Heck, he can start a blog! But he was hired, and paid good money, to talk about sports. There are plenty of other career choices he can make for himself if he wants to expand upon that. Until then, when a company is paying him well to discuss sports and that’s it, he should…well, you’ve seen the title of this blog post. You get the idea.
When discussing the highly acclaimed “Get Out”, there are two separate elements that need to be considered. It’s hard to judge them individually, as they’re so closely connected. Nevertheless, I’m going to try anyway…
“GET OUT” The Movie
All in all, I thought it was pretty entertaining, particularly the first two thirds. I was somewhat puzzled by the “R” rating for a while, but towards the end, they more than made up for it. I thought the acting was very good- not necessarily in a traditional sense, but each character did what they had to do. The protagonist, Chris, was intelligent, likable, and cynical. His girlfriend Rose seemed trustworthy, compassionate, and a bit naive. There was something clearly not right about Rose’s father, as he seemed almost intentionally awkward in trying to prove he wasn’t racist- an early queue to the audience that all was not as it seemed. The mother was very mercurial, as she seemed the most in-tune with who Chris truly was, yet didn’t reveal her true intentions- neither to the audience, nor to Chris. Rose’s brother was kind of gratuitous in the grand scheme of things, but seeing his friendly banter turn outright racist as he got drunk was cringe-inducing, in an effectively tension building sort of way. It was also a good contrast between the other minor characters’ overt racism, who were so over-the-top in their ignorance and rudeness, it was more funny than infuriating to witness. As for the other black people in the movie, their odd behavior was the biggest mystery of all, with the white people (or should we say “caricatures”) being a very close second. Last but not least, Stephen Root, as the one white male who seemed to have some redeeming qualities, turned out to be arguably the biggest scumbag of all. (Though, truth be told, it was probably a multiple-person tie.) In a nutshell, the setup was perfect.
Nevertheless, this was far from a great movie. I felt like the scene where the mother hypnotized Chris- producing the iconic closeup of his teary-eyed face- somehow managed to simultaneously have too much going on, while not being properly explained. It was effectively done and sufficiently chilling, but the premise was confusing. In the guise of helping Chris to quit smoking, she takes him to his worst memory, to put him in a “sunken place”, to prepare him for the process of transformation? Wait…what??
Then, there was the big revelation, which turned out to be…body switching. Okay, I admit that there were some clever clues, and I appreciate movies and TV shows that give the audience a chance to stay a step ahead of the game. (The Sixth Sense, Arrival, etc.) I just wished there was a more satisfying explanation for all this creepy behavior, which dominated more than half the movie, than “the ol’ switcharoo”.
Also, this movie was sold as a “comedy-horror”, and while director Jordan Peele is a genuinely funny man, I really didn’t find much humor in this movie at all- good, bad, or otherwise. Were we supposed to laugh uproariously at the wacky sidekick, who didn’t get integrated into the main story until the very last scene? I’m sorry, but he just didn’t do it for me. He wasn’t terrible, but I don’t really remember laughing out loud at anything he said.
By far, the biggest (and most confusing) error was Chris finding out that his sweet girlfriend was in on it the whole time…twice! First, Chris discovers a whole bunch of pictures of Rose with a number of black men she had dated- and one woman, who happened to be the family maid- after saying that Chris was her first one. Right there, we know Rose is no good. But then, not long after, we see Rose pretending to be horrified at her family’s actions, as Chris pleads with her to get the car keys so they can leave. Mid-panic, Rose stops, and looks at Chris with a deadly stare, giving some sort of Hal from 2001 Space Odyssey response- something like, “You know I can’t do that, Chris.” Well he SHOULD have known, anyway. But seriously, was Chris supposed to be surprised? Were WE? We already KNEW she was in on the plot- did Peele and the rest of the Get Out crew forget about that earlier scene? They simply could have hinted at it- for example, having Chris discover a picture and ONLY one picture of Rose and the maid- or, they could have had Chris confront Rose about all the pictures later, at an appropriate time. But the way it was done just didn’t make any sense.
Last but not least, once Chris escaped and made his way off the property, the movie just kind of felt like a pretty standard slasher film. That’s really not my cup of tea, but even if it were, the cleverness pretty much seemed to dry up at that point, as blood took over as the main element. The one small exception was the aforementioned wacky sidekick, who FINALLY provided a purpose as the film closed out, which is discussed more in the next section. Speaking of which…
“Get Out” The Statement
Although the movie’s humor was unfortunately lacking, the critical reaction did a great job filling the void, albeit unintentionally. Sometimes, life imitates art, and such was the case with the endless praise that this movie received for its social commentary, almost proving Peele’s point after the fact. In the same way that Rose’s father “bragged” that he would have voted for Obama a third time if he could, the largely white, liberal movie critics could not stop gushing about the thought provoking metaphors used in this movie, basically showing well-to-do affluent white liberals using black people nefariously for their own selfish purposes. Lest anyone think I’m exaggerating, some ACTUAL reviews stated that Get Out was “a compassionate, thoughtful look at race” (“compassionate”??), a “sharp-eyed allegory”, and “so special”. The praise was so non-stop, one can almost imagine the critics saying, “I would vote for Get Out as Best Picture TWICE if I could!”
Lest anyone think that I, a white man, am offended at such a depiction, nothing could be further from the truth. Politically, I lean more right than left, and enjoy few things more in life than seeing someone point out the hypocrisy of liberal virtue signaling. I just think that this movie did not do a particularly good job of that, outside of Rose’s father getting acquainted with Chris early on. The shindig (which turned out to be an auction for Chris’s “services”- talk about lack of subtlety!) just showed a bunch of aging white people, callously evaluating Chris to his face, as though they were shopping for a car. As a Twilight Zone-esque plot device, it was fine. As the kind of scene that was supposed to “make me think”, it fell very short.
The best thing I can say about this movie as a conversation about race is the statement that it DIDN’T make, which ultimately ended up making the movie slightly better. As Chris nearly escapes, killing the whole family in the process (with his girlfriend being last), a police car pulls up to the property. Jordan Peele allegedly considered having the movie end with Chris’s arrest at the gory scene he left behind. Now I admit, THAT would have offended me, with the message being portrayed all too clear, to a public already sharply divided on this issue. Fortunately, Peele went for the “safer” ending, having Chris’s best friend get out of the car, to take Chris away from the scene. In addition to wisely choosing to end the movie on a “high” note (relatively speaking), it was also an unexpected twist, in a movie that seemed to have run out of them. It also gave Chris’s wacky friend an actual reason to exist in the movie, and not a moment to soon.
So all in all, the movie itself was pretty entertaining, if a bit too gory for me in the latter part. But as far as contributing anything more serious to the broader conversation about race relations in modern America? Well………………………..
Maybe Drogon destroyed the Iron Throne because he thought it fatally wounded Dani. It IS made out of a thousand swords, after all!
Sometimes, an opinion is so close to unanimous, it’s practically a fact. Such is the case with Game of Thrones’ disaster of a finale, a series that was so epic, it’s hard to believe it was the same show. The final season had already been panned by many, but also had a fair number of defenders, as well as some genuinely entertaining moments. Some enjoyed The Long Night, while others seethed that the long winter we had been promised for nearly a decade lasted less than two hours. (And yet there are STILL people that don’t believe in climate change!) I already wrote plenty about it all myself, and my initial opinion was mixed. After the second to last episode, though, I’d given up all hope on a remotely satisfying conclusion to the series.
Nevertheless, I’d spent much of the past month and a half on this thing- reading, analyzing, and writing- so of course I was going to watch the last episode. But I was watching with very low expectations- low expectations, as it turns out, that would not even be met. Not only did the writers just mail it in, they forgot to put the postage stamps on! To use an NFL analogy, it would be like watching the team you root for in week 16, after being eliminated in week 15. “Maybe there will be a great catch, or something else worth salvaging to see,” you think to yourself. Instead, your team loses 45 to 7, and the only touchdown comes from the star running back, who suffers a career ending knee injury when getting tackled at the endzone.
All those episodes, all those story arcs, so many of which were insufficiently answered at best, completely neglected at worse. In fact, I can only remember one which ended far more powerfully than it began, and was so minor in the grand scheme of things, most of us didn’t even know it was a story until well into the series. And it can be described in exactly one word-
THE BLAME GAME
After each episode (except the finale…hmmmmm), executive producers David Benioff and David Weiss- or D & D, as they’re commonly referenced as- would take a victory lap, in the form of an explanation on what the viewers just saw. As such, they were literally putting their faces on the final product, making sure everyone knew who to thank for what was arguably the greatest show on television. While it was widely known that George RR Martin (GRRM) was the literary genius behind the novels (at least for a while), the TV show was D & D’s creation.
Throughout most of the show’s existence, this worked out well for them. Things started to turn ever so slightly, when the show started to run past the content of the novels. Unlike Lord of The Rings or Harry Potter, the creators of the onscreen product had to largely come up with their own content, working only from an outline that Martin shared with them. Many people, not just book snobs, noticed the drop in quality, but for the most part, stuck with it throughout. Most still thought the show was very good, and were already way too invested in this thing, anyway.
So the years continued on, and GRRM still hasn’t release any new material. Eight years and counting, and he’s been working on TWO Game of Thrones novels…and other projects, as well! Weirdly, it kind of makes sense- part of GOT’s greatness was the way one story would divide into a multitude of stories. Apparently, this is how GRRM operates in real life, as well. A man with so much on his mind surely can’t concentrate on one thing, much to the detriment of the fans.
Back to the show…fairly recently, D & D apparently declared that they had enough, and wanted to wrap things up. While a show like Big Bang Theory continued on, years after its glory days, D & D were already thinking about their endgame, with the war of the seven kingdoms nowhere near a conclusion. (Ironically, The Big Bang Theory, a standalone sitcom with a secondary story arc, apparently had a better conclusion that Game of Thrones, which was BUILT around the conclusion.)
So here we all are, in May of 2019, and it’s undeniable- even for the relatively small group of fans who tried to defend season 8, at least prior to the series finale- that everything felt rushed. And there was a reason for that- because it WAS rushed! No need to go into too many specifics- we all know the deal by now. But if the writers had to have Dani take over Westeros and go mad (in that order), that’s got to be, at a minimum, a half-season, not a half-episode. Similarly, Jon killing her and having his fate decided by the leaders of Westeros is a multi-episode affair. The way the action (or lack thereof) went straight from Jon stabbing Dani, to debating what to do with prisoner Jon… *record scratch*
Wait, wait- Jon is a prisoner?! How did he get captured? And even if he DID get captured, how did Grey Worm- not exactly the most laid back character- resist from killing him right then and there? How is Jon alive at all? HE COMMITTED REGICIDE AGAINST A QUEEN WHO HAS A MILITARY THAT SPANS AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE!!!*exhales* Sorry, I’m getting into specifics. But seriously- the whole thing reminds me of an episode from the Simpsons heyday, where “Poochie the Dog” unceremoniously gets taken out of the Itchy and Scratchy show, and after his final scene, a quick graph shows up that says…
…and hey- in this intentionally awful plot explanation, at least the Itchy and Scratchy show had the decency to EXPLAIN what happened to Poochie! (More on this Simpsons episode in a bit.)
Even somehow forgiving all this nonsense, how did BRAN end up ruling Westeros? I have yet to see one person defend this, let alone in a way that makes sense. (The actor himself thought it was a fake script, setup for a laugh.) The only explanation that remotely makes sense is that’s the way GRRM has it planned out, and D & D wanted to honor that. If that’s the case though, he has thousands of pages to set it up, whereas D & D had “Tyrion”- or whomever that morose character that Peter Dinklage was playing at that point- unconvincingly try to explain it in a few sentences.
As of this writing, most people are laying the blame for this debacle at D & D’s feet, with some occasional grumblings about GRRM’s going nearly a decade without releasing a new book. So does the novelist deserve a bigger piece of the pie in the blame sharing? When the TV writers turned A Song of Fire And Ice into a long running TV series, did they expect him to be done by now? Did they have any indications to the contrary? The backlash feels more like something seen in sports, like when a heavily favored team loses in the playoffs, and everyone blames the coach. But without any background information, we just don’t know how this came to be. Hopefully, someday we’ll here more about this debacle. Maybe THATcan be GRRM’s next novel!
WHO OWES WHAT TO WHOM
As this is playing out in real time, there’s an interesting existential debate going on, regarding how much the fans are “owed” by the writers, particularly GRRM. On one hand, this is a universe HE created, HE worked on, and HE took chances with. The reason we all flocked to Game of Thrones in the first place is because of HIS genius. So does he “owe” us anything now?
Getting back to the example of Poochie and the Simpsons, that episode came out at a time when the Simpsons had been on TV for a while, and some fans were grumbling that it had lost its edge. (Oh, if only they knew!) Word was spreading to the writers via message boards that there was some grumbling going on. Having the public react en masse like that was a fairly new phenomenon, as the internet had only been mainstream at that point for a few years. (Again, if only they knew.) Comic Book Guy, representing disgruntled fans, told Bart that he believed Itchy and Scratchy “owed” him. Bart, representing the writers, complained to Comic Book Guy that cartoons provided entertainment for free, and if anything, Comic Book Guy owed THEM. The response was the now famous, and very applicable to GOT’s series finale…
THIS TIME IT’S DIFFERENT
Bart had a point about the entitled fans, but it’s not entirely applicable to Game of Thrones- and not just because HBO isn’t free. Just like with The Big Bang Theory, the Simpsons is a standalone show, where viewers tune in to be entertained for a short period of time. Any continuity is icing on the cake- not many care a whole lot about the consistency of the storylines, as they’re mainly just designed to keep the jokes going. There have been controversies here and there, such as when Principal Skinner was discovered to be an impostor, but it didn’t take away from the series as a whole, and CERTAINLY didn’t negate all the greatness that preceded it. With Game of Thrones, the main “unwritten rules” are the same ones we apply to series like Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings- from Day One, we’re going on a journey that will lead somewhere. And when we get there, wherever “there” is, we are promised it will all make sense- and in GOT’s case, “it” was a lot!
So, we absorbed all the storylines and characters, along with a lot of emotional wreckage along the way. Each episode was judged on its merit, but it was always understood that it was just a small point on an arc. I’m trying to find the words, but I just can’t, and since a picture is worth a thousand of them, here’s something that’s been going around-
Truth be told, the warning signs have been there for years. South Park’s GOT parody is primarily famous for its “Wiener” song and the jokes that go with it, but in hindsight, the part that was best lampooned was right here, way back in 2013-
I guess the best way of saying it is that if you watched Game of Thrones with a soap opera mentality- just enjoying all the drama and action as it came, not knowing or caring much about the future- it was fantastic, with far more great moments than bad ones. But, if you watched it expecting to walk out of the journey as satisfied as you walked into it, you probably should have listened to Butter’s advice, and gotten out when you had the chance.
“I’d Like To See YOU Do Better, Random Blogger!”
Fair enough, fictional skeptic. Let’s start out by giving D & D the benefit of the doubt. Let’s say they wanted to stay as close to GRRM’s vision, still unknown to the public, as they possibly could. And let’s assume that given that he has thousands of pages to fill in, whereas they only have a few hours, it’s literally impossible for the story to live up to expectations. Fair enough. That STILL does not excuse the atrocity that was the series finale, where characters wandered around for a third of the episode, like a kid starting a 500 word book report with, “I really really really really really really enjoyed it.” On the contrary, they should have been trying to figure out how to fit TOO MUCH into the short span of time, not stretching it out! It felt like they had short timer’s syndrome. It’s way too late now, but just thinking here and there over the past couple of days, I strongly believe this would have made a better series finale. I’m not even saying it’s good- I’m just saying it’s better. You decide. Here goes…
Everything up until Tyrion getting captured stays the same, minus all of the walking around. (In MY version, the characters have some work to do!) Arya convinces Jon that they have to rescue Tyrion. Jon is reluctant, (“She is my queen! And my aunt! And my maybe girlfriend!” etc. etc.) but goes along with it.
Next scene- Jon encounters Greyworm. Jon tries to reason with Greyworm about Dani’s madness- he used to love her, but he has to kill her. Greyworm shows the slightest bit of acknowledgement that Jon is right, but ultimately out-Jon’s Jon. (“She is MY queen!”) They battle.
Cut to Tyrion jail cell. Jon shows up, explains that he killed Greyworm, and that he’s going to free Tyrion. Along comes Dani, to remind Jon that Tyrion is not just a Lannister sympathizer- tryingto reason with Cersei, costing Missandrei her life, then freeing Jamie- but is an ACTUAL Lannister! Jon reminds Dani that she burned innocent people. Dani reminds Jon that this is the place where those innocent people cheered his father’s beheading. Jon is moved by this. Dani says they can rule together. Tyrion looks horrified at what’s unfolding. Jon and Dani go into kiss, and then…Jon stabs Dani. Dani screams. Hearing the screams, Greyworm (?!) and Jon (?!!!) come running to the scene. Everyone is looking at each other in disbelief and/or disgust. The “Jon” who killed Dani reveals himself to be…Arya! The faceless man trick! The real Jon goes running over to Dani. Dani says, “What have I done? I just wanted the world to be a better place!” Jon says, “I know.” Dani says, “You know NOTHING, Jon Snow,” and dies.
Okay, NOW we cut to the scene with the leaders of Westeros. In this script, GREYWORM is the prisoner. The group need to figure out who the next ruler of Westeros is going to be. Bran says that the Lord of Light brought Jon back to rule Westeros. Sir Davos responds, “Yeah well, the Lord of Light’s been wrong before. Personally, I don’t think much of the (c-word).” Uncle Tully gives his dorky speech, Sansa dismisses him. Everyone smirks. Sam takes a sip of his Aquafina, the audience has their comic relief. They decide Arya is to be queen, as she slayed the previous queen. Arya doesn’t want it, saying, “That’s not me,” and winks at the camera (or not), gives it Sansa, who has shown her political depth and skill to be worthy of ruling. Everyone agrees. Greyworm is pardoned, and to not go to war, he is given rule over King’s Landing. Greyworm, being Greyworm, sneers and says that the moment he is released he will be going to war with Westeros. THEN Sir Davos gives his “too much war already” speech. Tyrion reminds Greyworm of Dani’s original goal to be a liberator. To break the wheel. The wheel has been broken. It’s up to Greyworm to build a new one. Greyworm is moved, but reminds everyone that the queen’s death will not be forgotten by the Unsullied, Dothraki, etc. etc.. The group decides that Jon will take the fall for the queen’s death, much as Ned Stark did all those years ago, for a cause greater than himself. Jon will be banished to the wall as “punishment” for what “he” did. (And yes, he gets to pet ghost.)
Gilly leaves Sam, as she’s been plotting her revenge for the perfect time all these years, for leaving her in that brothel. Also, because she has options now. Arya goes west to discover the Game of Thrones version of America. Jon goes back to The Wall, looks at the gaping hole and says to the Justin Turner lookalike, “Okay- we’ve got work to do!” Out in the distance, a dragon flies towards the screen, which goes to black. The words, “GAME OVER” flash. Roll credits.
MOVING ON NOW
That’s it. Hopefully we’ll have some other non-narcotic entertainment to get addicted to soon. Until then, enjoy the rest of your lives, everyone!
Okay, yes- the headline is clickbait. Obviously there will be no remake any time soon- certainly not in this generation- no matter how many people sign that petition. And death has been a cornerstone of the franchise since the very first scene of the very first episode of the very first season. But we are now less than 24 hours away from the series finale, and quite honestly, it feels like an episode of “Deal or No Deal” where the main choices are between the suitcase with $4 or $8. So how did we get here?
The Law Of Diminished Returns
All the significant deaths in the show’s earlier history had a purpose greater than the characters themselves. Ned Stark was sold to us as the main character, and he was around just long enough for us to be invested in this deception. He was the first McGuffin Protagonist in television history. When he lost his head, the viewers lost their minds. But as it turned out, this is what really kicked the show into another gear. The truth, in hindsight, is that Ned really wasn’t long for the GOT world- the survivors in this reality are cunning, devious, one step of the game, etc. etc.. Ned was as straight a shooter (or swordsman) as it gets. Had he somehow lived, we probably would have grown increasingly tired of his “honorable” behavior.
This is even more true of Robb Stark and Katlyn Tully Stark. Robb was a pretty boy who thought he had it all figured out. Katlyn offered wisdom such as, “Never trust a Greyjoy!” -right in front of Roose Bolton, no less. Their deaths took place in arguably the most famous scene in GOT history- aka “The Red Wedding”- which is really saying something. Given that Arya was right outside the gates when it all happened, it really had us invested in the tragic fate of the Starks, as well as the horror felt inside and outside of the wedding. These are characters (along with Robb’s wife) who were far more important in death than in life.
Things started to turn, ever so slightly, in season 4. Yes, we ALL wanted Joffrey dead. As the most unique hybrid of spoiled brat and ruthless tyrant ever depicted onscreen, his mere presence sickened us. But he was a worthy antagonist for the series- almost TOO worthy- which was never recaptured once he left. And it’s true that his death produced one of the most interesting subplots of the series for a while, leading up Tyrion’s trial and outburst. But once that simmered down, King’s Landing just didn’t seem quite as interesting- especially after Tywin Lannister got taken down, as well. (I couldn’t have been the only one hoping for an Arya vs Tywin face-off down the road.) Basically, Cersei was left to carry the whole thing on her own, which she did a great job of. But then the Tyrells were killed off, along with the High Sparrow. These were Cersei’s greatest opponents, and they all deserved a better fate (from a storyline point of view) than, “Cersei blew them all up.” And now, in addition to that, Cersai and Jamie are gone! And what was all that about her getting pregnant? What was the point in that, other than Tyrian to remind us, for the trillionth time, that Cersei isn’t a monster because she loves her children?? Calgon, take me away!
SUBPLOTS BURNED TO THE GROUND
The ever sprawling subplots were always a potential weakness in Game of Thrones, as the universe expanded beyond The Wall, King’s Landing, and Winterfell. (I’m excluding Daenerys’s journey, as that was basically a separate universe with only one thing happening at a time, prior to Tyrion and Varys arriving.) I can only speak for myself, but I had trouble keeping track of it. By the time I finally figured most of it out, it turned out not to matter, because someone was always getting killed and changing direction of the whole thing. The Veil, The Iron Born, Dorne, Stannis Baratheon, The White Walkers featuring The Night King on Lead Guitar…where the hell did that all take us? How does ANY of that fit in to where we ended up, with King’s Landing laid to rubble? Back in season 3, I complained there was too much “Khaleesi” (I didn’t know her real name, since Jorah kept calling her that). In hindsight, they should have spent MORE time on her, as her descent into madness was the main thing that ended up mattering. Along the way, they could’ve mixed in some Sansa, Arya, and Jon- the TRUE protagonists of the show. (Sorry to not include Tyrion, everyone’s favorite character, including mine. But since he was reduced to an incompetent, overly-sentimental adviser, his journey didn’t matter much, either.)
As I’m typing this, I realize how cynical it all is. The true answer lies in the fact that the writers probably didn’t plan this far ahead. All the subplots were entertaining while they were going on. But this show isn’t Happy Days, where we can just watch the episodes we enjoy, and just shrug off everything after the shark was jumped. This is more like a movie series, like Lord of the Rings, where all these different elements are supposed to matter in the end. This was true of Harry Potter, which also lost some steam as the series went on- as most series do- but made sure that long insinuated story arc were ultimately explained. I’d be happy to take all of this back if I’m wrong, but with exactly one episode left, it’s hard to see that being the case.
EXCLUDING THE DRAGONS, WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ALL THAT SUPERNATURAL STUFF?
Stannis got the Red Lady pregnant. To some sort of demon monster, who killed Renly. (Some say it was dark magic. I just think a one thousand year old woman getting pregnant is bound to lead to some complications.) That was the last we heard of it. Jon Snow was dead. Then he wasn’t. The Red Lady told us Stannis was going to lead a great army. Then he didn’t. There was a mystical king of the undead, leading to a massive attack beyond The Wall. There was a Three Eyed Raven who knew the past, the present, and the future. There was a faceless man who spoke in third person. But at the end of the day, we’re left with the Starks trying to defeat Daenerys, which begs the question, WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ALL THIS???
SANSA THE TORTURED…AGAIN
The stuff with Joffrey was very convincing. When Sansa was being humiliated and enduring unimaginable cruelty, we all felt the cruelty with her. And then…Joffrey died. So, Sansa ends up being “rescued” by Littlefinger. She showed some real growth in her dealings with Littlefinger. And then? Littlefinger drops her off at the pound, to be with Ramsey Bolton. HUH?
Ramsey’s hold of Winterfell was one of the more worthwhile subplots, even in hindsight. Having Rickon run towards Jon in “The Battle of The Bastards” finally gave Rickon a reason to exist in the GOT universe- and that reason was to die. (Sorry, Rickon, but you know it’s true.) But did we need to get poor Sansa involved in all that? She ended up escaping (I still don’t know how, but whatever…) and going back to the Veil. Wouldn’t it have been better for her to be at the Veil the whole time, where we can watch her and Littlefinger play against each other? From what I understand, that’s what happened in the books. And Ramsey was more of a Theon story-arc, anyway. Inserting Sansa in there just felt gratuitously cruel. And there’s plenty of cruelty in Game of Thrones that we don’t need anything gratuitous thrown in there.
Oh, one more thing- Littlefinger playing Arya against Sansa seemed to have so much potential. Bran telling them the truth just felt like the easy way out. Littlefinger’s demise was inevitable, but like so many of the other deaths late in the series, the whole thing just felt rushed.
Daenerys vs Jon may have been a worthy battle, had there been more of a buildup. As I’ve said before, I was expecting Jon to be torn between Sansa (and Arya) going against Dani. But that’s all been ripped to shreds. It’s a simple battle of good versus evil now. The most curious thing to me is not so much how it will play out in the show, but how it will play out in our culture– we are living in a time where strong female leads are all the rage. Now, Game of Thrones has left us with the strong female lead turning into all rage! And not 100 Aryas, or Sansa, or Yaras, or 10 year old girls running The House of Mormot (seriously- what was THAT all about??) will be able to make up for that. The potential fallout from this is likely to be the most interesting thing of all.
Even though the series fell apart at the end, it’s still worth remembering that this throughout most of its run, Game of Thrones was one of the greatest TV shows of all time. It’s just that the early seasons were the best- basically, everything through season 4- and it’s not even close. This is near unanimous opinion. This isn’t to say I don’t respect other opinions- I’ve had plenty of opinions throughout my life that go against the grain, and I have a strong distaste for those who mistake conventional wisdom for absolute truth. So if you like the later seasons better, that’s fine. But if you’d like to make a case as to why, in the hopes of having others reconsider their own, it had better be a good one.
Honestly, I barely even feel like putting this together. With one episode left to go, nearly every Game of Thrones character is either dead, or barely recognizable from their original self. Gone is the good-hearted but cynically sharp-witted mastermind Tyrion Lannister. In his place is a gullible optimist, who puts his head down and mopes every time his (obviously bad) plan backfires. The selfless, honorable and occasionally cocky Jon Snow has become a lovesick fool- emphasis on fool. Daenerys Targarean, someone I took issue with early on, was nevertheless the most recognizable face of the franchise, sold to us as a champion of the downtrodden, and a force to be reckoned with. Now, she’s a crazy, murderous ex-girlfriend. The whole thing is depressing- and not the “good” kind of depressing, like Ned Stark’s death or the Red Wedding.
Watching Daenerys’s dragon burn King’s Landing to the ground was a good metaphor, as it felt like what the writers were doing to the entire series. Also with the perfect metaphor, Cersei Lannister, realizing she was going to die by way of the roof caving in, desperately cried, “Not like this! Not like this!” She spoke for millions of fans everywhere.
Before continuing to rant about all the things that went wrong with one of the greatest television shows ever created, let’s pause for some positivity. The production, the music, the acting, and the overall “feel” of the second-to-last episode was first rate. None of that has ever been a problem for Game of Thrones. And if there was only one storyline that had a remotely satisfying conclusion- and there was, in fact, only one storyline that had a remotely satisfying conclusion- it was Sandor Clegane, emphatically pleading with Arya to not follow down his dark path of endless revenge seeking. Even this plotline had holes, as we have been cheering on Arya for YEARS to be getting revenge on those who have wronged her family, her friends, and herself. But personally, I can at least buy into the idea that she needs to know when to say when, and that “The Hound” is the perfect person to teach her this, given he was the one who taught her to have no mercy in the first place. (In turn, she was the one who taught him kindness, which somehow we suspected always existed, deep down inside.) Given all the two of them had been through together, it was enjoyable to watch them have this moment together, right before Sandor plunged to his death, along with his literal monster of a brother, Gregor.
Okay, now back to the griping…For the increasingly problematic direction(s) of the show in recent years, since the novels ended (or so I’ve heard- admittedly I haven’t read a single page), there were always interesting trails to explore. In recent seasons, the writers have opted for killing off many of those trails- literally- by executing some of the most mercurial plot-churning characters in the series, most notably the Tyrells, Littlefinger, and now, Varys and the Lannister twins. (THE LANNISTER TWINS!!!) Seeing how there’s no one left to despise, the writers decided to turn Daenerys into the latest- and, in all likelihood, final- bloodthirsty villain. I mean…what??? Ok, I get it- this show breaks all the rules. Killing off someone who we all thought was the protagonist in season 1 was a brilliant stroke of genius. But that was early on- early enough that the rules of the show were still being established, but late enough for us to be deceived, to the point where it felt like WE were the ones getting the axe. For as long as nearly a decade (for those who watched the show when it first aired), we were convinced that Daenerys was on “our” side. And yes, it was annoying at times, especially prior to integrating her with the rest of the Westeros mainland. But there was no question that much of the whole thing revolved around her getting to the Iron Throne…eventually.
Things started off quite well with this late-inning plot, in terms of storytelling. Finally, our young heroine ran into some actual adversity, and it took a toll on her patience, while stoking her more violent tendencies. Very subtlety, her hunger for power started to become an alarming issue for some of the more astute characters, most notably Varys. When Daenerys marched to Winterfell with Jon Snow by her side, we were cleverly reminded of the first episode, when we were first introduced to the frosty (no pun intended) relationship between the Starks and Lannisters. The passive aggression between Sansa and Dani, with Jon caught in the middle, had the potential to be one of the most intriguing power struggles throughout the series.
So much for all that. Jon was reduced to a monosyllabic sycophant, repeatedly assuring Dani, “You are my queen!” while adding nothing else of use- neither to the characters, nor to the viewers. In a scene that marked the highpoint of Emilia Clarke’s acting and lowpoint of Daenerys Stormborn’s character, she looked over King’s Landing, knowing that it was all hers, and inexplicably decided that it wasn’t enough by mercilessly burning it to the ground, without any warning or explanation. Out of the rubble, we are left with a dumbfounded Jon and Tyrion, a traumatized Arya, and Sansa, having second thoughts about when she helped Jon defeat Ramsey (probably).
Anyway, this is more than enough from a guy who sincerely claimed having almost no interest in putting together a recap. Imagine how long this thing would be if I WAS interested! So next week, we find out who sits on the Throne, but at this point, I really don’t care, because no one left is worthy. They might crown Samwell “Teflon” Tarly as the Protector Of The Realm, as the writers seem to care most about his character. (I suspect many in the writer’s room can identify with his character far more closely than any other.) Or, maybe Ned Stark wakes up, and realizes the whole thing was just a dream. It’s probably as good an explanation as any for what we’ve been watching lately.
Well, now that I’ve completed the entire eight years worth of Game of Thrones episodes barely five weeks after I began them, I can poke around the Internet, to see the thoughts of other viewers- and there are quite a few to choose from.
As of this posting, there are two episodes left in the show, and I regret that I wasn’t following along the whole time. I’m sure my overall perspective would have been better, and given an already somewhat fragile emotional makeup- due to internal and external outside of this blog’s scope- the whole experience has left me kind of overwhelmed. I didn’t even realize Daenerys’s post-Drogo pre-Jon boyfriend changed actors in the middle of the story! But all things considered, I thought I understood sufficiently to be able to recap the whole experience, so here I am now.
First off, it was a relief to be able to start browsing the internet, to see various other thoughts and perspectives. I had closed myself off, due to fear of spoilers or outside influence on my opinion. Now that I no longer have that worry, I feel like a reality TV star coming out of hiding, being revealed to the public at the end of the season! Anyway, the most critical piece of information that I found was there was very little original content after season 5 from George RR Martin, the creator of the novels, who is still working on them. Unlike Harry Potter, which released movies well after the completion of each book, the game of Game of Thrones novels are still, as of this blog post, a work in progress. Basically, everything after Cersei’s “walk of shame” has largely been made up by the show’s creators on the fly, with only an outline from Martin to work with. This explains some baffling directions within the show, like the underrated Marjorie Tyrell, seemingly scheming against the High Sparrow with some unknown plan, only get blown up by Cersei, with the rest of the lot. I can almost imagine the one of the writers saying, “How do we get Marjorie out of this?” And another writer responding with, “I have no idea. It’d just be easier to kill her off. Who wants Chinese food?” Ned’s death was horrifying but necessary, and opened some real possibilities on what to do with the main story. Margerie’s death simply closed a few off. And sure, Cersei taking the thrown felt inevitable, as well as riveting, but there had to be a better journey to get her there.
On the other end of the spectrum, the annoying Iron Island plot plods along. “That which is dead may never die,” indeed! Yes, I get it- Yara is a badass female captain in a Medieval world of brute misogynists. But don’t we already have that in MULTIPLE places at this point? She’s a one dimensional character, as well as inconsistent. When we first meet her, she has loyalty to her father, along with contempt for her entitled brother Theon, then inexplicably risks her life and those of her men for this weak, insecure excuse of a man? But, Daenerys needs a Navy, so I guess the writers felt it more useful to have her along for the ride. Perhaps Marjorie and her sharp-tongued grandma get seasick.
I now know that Dorne is the only universally hated plotline in Game of Thrones. I’m not sure why. I found it to be kind of a distraction from the main story, with crude stereotypes. But it was still more interesting than Daenerys wandering around the desert for three quarters of the series, and certainly no more crude than those stereotypes*! I also felt the ending of the Dorne storyline made the whole experience more worthy, which is more than I can say for the… ARMY OF THE UNDEAD
The whole “life after death” was the first thing we were introduced to in the Game of Thrones universe. As someone who watched the first episode a full eight years after it aired, I was completely caught off guard. Knowing nothing but “winter is coming”, a pretty blonde princess, dragons, and whatever was alluded to in the South Park parody, I couldn’t believe I was watching something that looked like it was from a zombie horror movie! “How the hell are they going to fit this in,” I thought? It was a question I kept asking throughout the series. And to be fair, it led to some fascinating plots- Jon’s battle with Head Watchman Ted Williams over the integration of the wildlings, Jon needing to convince Daenerys to fight with him, Bran going on a magical mystery tour, leading to the explanation of “Hodor’s” name (the most surprisingly satisfying revelation in the series so far) as well the revelation of Jon’s mother (the second most satisfying revelation in the series so far, and far more important than the origins of Hodor’s name). But the undead story ITSELf turned out to be a huge flop- as someone pointed out online, the Night King turned out to be nothing more than a villian of the week from the old TV series Buffy The Vampire Slayter- and a SHALLOW villain, at that. In addition, his final scene, the slow motion face-off with Bran, felt like a Calvin Klein production. Maybe there’s still some hope we’ll learn SOMETHING else about The Red Lady, or at least how she got the Stannis prophecy so wrong, how she was able to bring Jon Snow back to life, etc.. And, maybe the Lord of Light is still out there. But with two episodes left and so much unresolved, I’m not optimistic. (*And how about those poor Dothraki, sent to die in the first 2 minutes of battle, while Sam merrily hums along with his Apatow-Rogan inspired wife.)
Incidentally, the books apparently use the “life after death” thing to bring back Kat “Peggy Hill” Stark, in the form of “Lady Stoneheart”, to avenge her family. Now THAT sounds interesting, as well as frightening. But since the writers went in a completely different direction, we ended up with an awkwardly forced subplot that was not nearly as rewarding as we assumed (or at least hoped) it would be.
The good news is that now that it’s out of the way, we can focus on the REAL battle- first, between Cersei and Daenerys, which I found to be quite promising. Everyone on Twitter thinks they’re Ulyssess S Grant, complaining about the tactical strategy of Team Dani. Yes, it was oversimplified, but so what? Do we need ANOTHER 90 minute dialog-free episode, complete with loud music, loud explosions, and so much movement no one can figure out who is where and what is going on or how it’s getting accomplished? The point is that Cersei holds a far better strategic position than originally thought, and she’s not going to give up her grip on the Iron Throne. It was a little bit annoying seeing Tyrion being such a rube about his sister’s intentions, but the acting is so good that it can be forgiven as wishful thinking for a clever man running low on clever ideas.
Even better than Cersei vs Daenerys is Daenerys vs the Stark sisters. If there’s one thing and ONLY one thing that has gotten better as the series moves along, is the realization from the writers that Daenerys The Savior is a dead end. Finally- FINALLY we have her lust for power, getting in the way of her “breaker of chains” persona, completely disrespecting Jon’s rightful claim to the throne. Jon has been selfless the whole series- easily his strongest attribute- and was more than willing to step aside for Dani’s lifelong ambition. How does Dani repay him? By telling him not to ever tell his sisters the truth…something he uncharacteristically defies, creating an inevitable rift that will surely cause incredible tension amongst the anti-Cersei forces. We even see the Varys and Tyrion at odds with each other- something we haven’t seen since the beginning of the series- which can weaken the “good guy” position. So for all the screaming about how Game of Thrones has lost its way- some of which seems valid- there is more than enough reason to be invested in the final two episodes, other than, “Well, I got this far.”…
There were so many stories to follow throughout the series, and it was nice to see them merge together fairly smoothly. It was satisfying to see everything come together after spending all this amount of time binge watching the show for over a month, trying to keep up with all the characters and storylines. I could only imagine how much MORE satisfying it would have been for the people who’d been watching this show as the episodes came out new, spending YEARS wondering about how all this would play out.
Daenerys’s integration into the mainland and main story made her character much more compelling and interesting. I stand by my feelings about her first six seasons- more than 75% of the show’s total existence- and how stretched out the whole thing felt. Emilia Clarke’s charisma shined through all of Daenerys’s smug, self-righteous, one dimensional nature. Now that Daenerys is part of the full GOT world, finally facing the adversity and even some horror that the other major characters have been exposed to throughout the series, it’s nice to Clarke’s additional acting skills, as well. She also looks pretty badass riding a dragon.
Speaking of dragons…the fact that the White Walkers got one of them was an unexpected twist. The whole series we were led to believe that ONLY Daenerys could control them, leaving us to wonder what could possibly stop her. Now we finally know.
I also liked Uncle Greyjoy, who reminded me of cross between Liev Schreiber, Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine, and Eric Savin from Iron Man 3. I initially rolled my eyes at his contrived, shoehorned introduction into the Iron Born storyline, one of the more pointless storylines (IMO), right up there with Dorne. It was just nice to finally see a villain- or ANY character, for that matter- actually look like they were having FUN in this sick, demented world. (Bronn sort of does, but he’s usually pretty low key about it.) Kidnapping his niece, Blossom, wasn’t very nice, but so what? Other than Sam Tarly and his girlfriend, who gets rewarded for being nice aroun here? And the one nice thing I can say about the Dorne characters is that the innovative way Cersei was torturing them really was terrifying, even if they pretty much deserved it. Hats off to the actresses.
What else, what else…oh, the scene where the boys were all went camping north of the wall. Seeing those guys, most of whom didn’t really know each other, bonding together and facing serious odds felt like a refreshing, conventional, good ol’ fashioned action movie. I liked that, as well as the Lannister vs Tyrell fight, even though they want back to the somewhat lazy “…and then the dragons killed everybody” Super Mario Brothers star to finish it all.
The season finale meeting between the parties was entertaining, with all the friends, enemies, and show history on display for everyone to see. The tension felt palpable and real. Also impressive was how the writers integrating the smallest details from the beginning of the series, like Arya meeting up with her old pet wolf. Some of the references were so obscure I needed the writers to explain it after the episode.
(I wish I could say how mindblowing Jon Snow’s true identity was, but I accidentally found out on Google, several episodes earlier. The fact that he’s now romantically involved with his aunt would be pretty jaw dropping, but given everything else we’ve seen in this show, I’m numb to it.)
Setting up Littlefinger was a surprise, but in the wrong direction. It seemed like a battle of Arya versus Sansa was brewing, and that was really going to be something fun. Instead, it turned out to be a conspiracy against a known bad guy. *shrug* If this was the end of a movie, then great. But we’re heading towards the final season, and I want to see some twists and turns. Yeah, yeah, yeah- so the white walkers tore down The Wall and headed straight for the heart of the GOT world. So what?? We pretty much knew that was coming, literally since the beginning of the series, before we were even introduced to the main characters.
For a show that doesn’t let a storyline go to waste, why is everyone pretending that Jamie Lannister didn’t try to kill Bran in the first episode? That never gets mentioned in any context anymore. We’re just kind of supposed to go along with the idea that Jamie’s basically a good guy trapped in a bad situation. That’s not the guy we met at the beginning of the series! His acting is good, and he’s definitely one of the more colorful characters. But it just stretches credibility, even in THIS universe, when he was so instrumental to so much of the deceit and violence early on.
And speaking of Bran, what’s with the emo act? “I’m not Bran. I’m the Three Eyed Raven. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to listen to some Morrissey.” (I don’t know if Morrissey is emo, he just always struck me a svery intentionally miserable.)
Grandma Tyrell revealing that she was Joffrey’s murderer happened waaaaaaaaaaay too early in the series. The audience should have found out when Jamie found out. Revealing it shortly after it happened was, in hindsight, pointless. In fact, the whole Tyrell storyline, which actually once seemed so promising, didn’t deliver as much to the arc of the show as I would have hoped. It was almost the opposite of the Daenerys storyline- whereas hers was simple and drawn out but very critical to the overall plot, the Tyrells were complex, intriguing, but barely worth thinking about once they were out of the picture.